stagnant blog..

well.. someone said my blog getting stagnant.. hmm.. true.. but i think bcos i have nothing new to talk..

this blog was set up during last year end of june lidat.. the reason this blog was born is bcos during that period.. well.. i was feeling pretty down due the gigantic hiccup in my previous relationship, which piaked shortly after that.. i needed a place to dump all my excess and overwhelming emotions and feelings.. so i decided to go for a blog.. yes, this is the real reason why this blog started. did i say any other reason last time? if i did, okay, sorry, i lied to you.. hahaha.. this is the REAL reason! well, at least initially it was due to that..

i've complaint lots of stuff.. unless it's new stuff to complain, otherwise i will try to nag over the same stuff.. it's boring u see.. even i get bored if i keep complaining the same things.. my main complain i think is still school issues.. I HATE SCHOOL (sans the holidays and breaks)!!

then all my emo posts maciam talk the same stuff too.. i'm lonely~ i need a companion~ i want a gf~ basically it's juz complaining abt my singlehood.. but hey! i dun do that kind of post often alreadi... as compared to the starting phase.. and recently i think.. i think i'm slowly getting numb to such emotions.. i dunno wat is it like to really like a girl, fall in love kind.. infatuation, admiring of a girl, compulsion to find a girl just bcos i want a gf.. eh.. all those feelings are mixed up and always repeating until an extent that i can't differentiate them anymore.. and eventually, numb to them.. perhaps bcos i'm ignoring them all.. forcefully.. bothersome at times, u see... i will juz spend my precious sleeping time thinking over such stuff... and always come up with no answer.. wat a waste of time...

now given any girl, i can onli tell if i like this girl, or not.. but i can't categorise her under which kind of liking.. hmmm.. i can't remember the "wow! she's the one" kind of feeling le.. numb~ numb~ numb~

will i end up like a fren of mine (name not stated due to confidentiality)? too used to singlehood and totally lost the interest of finding a gf/bf.. then a sudden outbreak of desperation? hahahaha.. shhhhh.. if u know who he/she is, pls dun say.. i still want my life one... and luckily he/she dun really often surf blogs.. hopefully this post gets flush out fast...

i would like to say 1 important thing.. i ain't despo! hmmmm... i'm taking things easy now.. it's okay if i'm single.. but i dun mind get to know more girls.. u get wat i mean? but of cos, if you have any girl to recommend to me, thanks in advance.. hahahahaha... there's still a chance i might get back the "she's the one" feel... thx ah.. consider i've been living in barren land for close to 4 yrs in uni.. i think i've forgot how to approach girls liao.. cham.. or do i even know how to approach girls in the first place? think i need some crash course from god jh..

then some funny shit happened.. my ex's sis's ex.. er.. complicated ah? hahaha.. anyway.. ya.. he suddenly ask mi am i still with my ex..

wait.. i need say something here first.. my ex, if u r reading this.. i know calling u "ex' may sound a bit rude.. but i mean no harm! it's juz that it's easier to type and confidentiality issue.. hahahahaha.. okay.. lame.. like who dunno you lidat.. okay lah.. it's easier to type and i feel weird saying/typing ur name sometimes.. so ya.. pls be understanding ah.. going back on track now..

he asked if i'm still together with my ex.. hmmm.. pretty ill-informed ya? then he started to talk abt his ex, i.e. my ex's sis.. blah blah blah blah blah.. not going to disclose the content.. then he asked mi this question.. if i have a chance to get back and be together with her, would i do so... got mi there.. then i started to ponder over this question.. after a long thinking, this is my answer to it.. *sighz*

I DUNNO! that's why i'm still awak at this time.. 6.22AM!! didn't i just said such stuff always waste my sleeping time? *sighz* lingering feelings clouding my judgement.. so dun bother abt it anymore liao.. i'm going to sleep..

老天自有安排。我只需随着他走。