Meaning of Life...

I may be slacking my life away recently, but hey! I'm doing serious thinking on my life from this moment onwards too okay! It's only when one has this much free time can ponder upon this mystery of life. What is the meaning of my life.......

All along I was quite happy that I set my career path long time ago, during secondary school. I wanted to be in the IT line. From there, I went into double Maths + Physics + Computing course during JC, and eventually, Comp Engineering during university. Now I reached this point that I wanted to reach. Where do I go from here on? I'm lost...

Working is a definite. But, what's the meaning behind working so hard? Earn big bucks, own big car and big house? Do I really need all these? Even if I want those luxury of life, are those my ultimate aim of life? I believe my vision for life gotta be something better than that. I know I'm not a superficial person, easily satisfied with these kind of stuff. Let me slowly find that ultimate aim of life.

I always have this thought, "what if I'm dead now". I had this kind of dream before a few times. During that dreams, regrets that I have until now started to surfacing to my mind. Ahhhhh... those regrets, they can never be resolved. I start to think beyond that, who will remember me after my death. Have I left any impact in anyone's life? Definitely I didn't, and most probably won't be able to, manage to leave my name in the history (unless i go take a knife and start slashing people on the street).

So, if I just fall dead tomorrow, isn't my life a useless one???? I haven't accomplished anything, leaving no impact on anyone's life, leaving no trace of my existence, so what is the meaning of my life up to now?!???!?? If there is an almighty up there, surely my life ought to have a meaning right? Or that mean so long that goal of my living has not reached, I won't be leaving this world that soon? Hahahaa! I don't know, but that's what I was hoping to believe in, maybe. Awwwwwwww... The meaning of lfe is too sophiscated. I definitely don't wish to leave this world without etching my existence in this world, or at least in somebody.

If I were to leave this world tomorrow, would you friends kindly remember me for life? At least until I managed to leave my name in the book of history. LOL!


P/S: No! I'm not committing suicide or doing mass slaughtering. Just finding the meaning of my life only. Lax.....