the mattress theory for university studies...

i've come up with the mattress theory recently while talking to friends.. i think this theory can expand into a more complete one and, perhaps, some day, i might be able to publish it...


The Mattress Definition
As everyone knows, mattress is something that you can rest on, is something you place on top of the floor (or bed base). It is the cushion level that allows you to sleep through the night comfortably. So, in the context of university study, this mattress refers to someone you "lie" on top of so you can get pass the exams or to get A's.

Law of Maximum Usage of Mattress
In real life, mattress is something pretty expensive, especially if it is a good one. Of course, there are ways to maxmize the lifespan of a mattress. Same to our "mattress" in university, the lifespan of it can be maximized too. To do so, follow the steps below.

1. Find a good mattress. A good mattress should be someone, preferably, below average grades. However, you may try to obtain average students too. But the way of maintaining would be more tacky. Note that, you may get multiple mattresses too. The more the better.
2. Help out the mattresses with their normal schoolwork. However, just do the minimal effort.
   
3. For projects, just help out with some details will do. Best is if you can get into same group as them. Do most of the stuff, so you know the stuff and they don't. So during presentation, you are likely to score higher than them.
4. For presentation, arrange the format such that you get the most important part, and also a big bulk, so that you will stand out more than the others.
5. Here is the most important step. Study with them. Your main aim here is to make sure they pass their exams! This may sound weird. Why must let them pass if you want them to become mattresses? Think properly. Mattress doesn't refer to failures only. Those people who C and D are also mattresses for you to get a good B grade. =)
6. However, do not feed in too much information. When you feel you have "stuffed them with enough cotton", you may use this suggested answer to reply their questions, "I don't know! I don't know! I don't know!"

Something special to take note here. During the last semester, you may choose to forsake them totally. This is because there is no need for them anymore. You are graduating soon. Taking care of them will mean extra effort. This law of maximum usage utilizes minimum effort maximum gain.

If you are thinking why not just dump those mattresses and get a new one again the next semester, you gotta be kidding. What you are doing is actually a sifting process. You are filtering out the rotten apples leaving the good ones. That is kind of dangerous as you approach the last year, you might be left out only people of your same caliber. That makes you on your own already. This should be avoided at all cost. Therefore, bring your mattress along to the next semester. This is what you should do. Reuse them.



alright.. maybe next time i can do a mathematical proof to compare the effort and gain between reusing the mattress and acquiring new mattress. okay.. i'm joking here.. this whole thing is juz a joke!! erm... it may seem that the above is actually mocking someone in particular.. eh.. pai seh lah.. no lah.. just a joke nia lah.. dun angry okay?